Tripping Up In Going Dutch

In less than a week I will be living in Rotterdam. You'd think at this point I'd be furiously trying to study my Dutch language CDs yet, I haven't touched them in the past week? Why you ask? I've been doing the paper, packing, reading, writing, arithmetic (ha, ha, no seriously), and just spending time with my housemate. While sitting in a fold out chair typing away at my computer last night, I spoke out loud (more to myself than my partner who was laying in the dust and grime of the garage floor, tinkering underneath his latest project car): "I think I've been avoiding my Dutch lessons. What am I friggin' thinking?" To which he replied, "Well, of course you are. You're avoiding anything right now that reminds you too much of the fact that you're leaving soon".

Could this be true? Well obviously there is some truth in this statement. And truthfully, I can't help but feel that there is a vast difference between how I feel now about going off into the great wide yonder for school and how I felt the last time I left Canada for an extended period of time to study in another country (England for my MA). While I can't remember my exact thoughts during the week leading up to my last great adventure across the pond, I can certainly remember picturing myself as a brave adventuress, excited at the thought of embarking on a quest that would change her life forever! Conversely, I'm currently considering taking a daily dose of Gravol just so that I can concentrate on writing my paper and packing and so that I can ignore the nervous squelches of my stomach muscles as they debate (along with my racing mind) all the things I must do before I leave, remember to take with me, and leave to figure out once I get there. Dare I say this is a product of my age? Is travelling and cavorting abroad easier done when you are of a younger age?

My 29-year-old self refuses to believe this last statement. Instead, I will have champagne on my 30th birthday in Rotterdam (on November 30th, no less, hence the champagne) to celebrate not only my birthday but also the vivaciousness of my chosen life path. Everyone should be so lucky and yes, so privileged. To my stomach and nerves I say 'get a grip' (also a favorite saying of my Mother's).